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You Don’t Have To Be Perfect To Adopt

Does the idea of “marketing” your parenting abilities to birth mothers make you feel ill? Self-promotion makes many people uncomfortable, but promoting yourself in hopes of convincing a birth mother that you’re the best person to adopt her baby can be downright terrifying! A number of prospective families have expressed deep concern and intense fears about falling short of the birth mother’s expectations for the selection of adoptive parents for her child. Do any of the following sound familiar to you?

What if the birth mother doesn’t find us attractive enough?
What if the birth mother doesn’t think our house is big enough, or in the best location?
Will the birth mother think we make enough money to give the child the best possible opportunities in life?

If you have these concerns or others, you’re not alone. It’s common for people looking to adopt to wonder whether or not the birth mother will find them good enough to be the parents of the child they must place with an adoptive family. The good news is most birth mothers simply want a loving home for their baby and are not looking for the “perfect” parent that fits a certain mold.

Sometimes, birth mothers may have a preference for the following situations:

* A specific religion
* State of residence
* A family with a stay at home mom
* Home with or without other children

It is extremely rare for a birth mother to place much importance on the size of a house, or the appearance of the adoptive parents. Money tends to be important only in that there is enough to adequately provide for the needs of the child; and most birth mothers don’t assume that their child will be more loved or more comfortable with an extremely wealthy family! Birth mothers are not expecting or looking for perfection in the family that adopts their baby – they are looking for the family who can provide a loving and safe environment.

When you are hoping to attract a birth mother, it’s important that you simply are yourself. It will not work to try to be someone you aren’t. The right birth mother will like you for who you are, and that will ensure a much better match.

One way to give birth mothers an idea of who you are is to write a winning “birth mother letter”. In this letter, you want to focus on all that you have to offer the baby and the things that make you and your family situation unique. It’s been proven that a well-written letter can reduce your waiting time for adopting a baby by months – or even years.
The letter to birth mothers is one of the most effective methods of reaching out to birth mothers who are looking to place their baby’s into adoptive homes. It’s your chance to make a strong first impression, and to show the birth mothers why they should choose you as the adoptive family.

About the Author

Cindy Simonson is a respected adoption professional and writes about child adoptionat InfantAdoptionCoach.com. For the past thirteen years she has been helping people successfully adopt the child of their dreams. Cindy also offers a free audio course “The ten secrets you must know in order to adopt a child from the U.S.

Author Profile: Cindy_Simonson

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