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Are You A Fair-Weather Friend?

The weather is changing. Some people blame global warming. My grandmother blamed the astronauts who walked on the moon.

There isn't much weather in Los Angeles - unless you count earthquakes, mudslides, fires and droughts. Because LA is desert, the primary use of windshield wipers is to hold parking tickets.

When it does rain, however, it's a major news story. Television programs are interrupted for rain alerts. Because of the lack of rain, oil builds up on our freeways. Oil is our black ice and creates just as much traffic trauma as the frozen version.

Then there's smog - euphemistically referred to as low cloud cover. It gives us laid-back, Pacific Coasters something to beach about.

Although the atmospheric conditions in LA are as predictable as night and day, our forecasters still make mistakes. Instead of having radar and satellites, maybe they just need windows in their offices.

Perhaps forecasters are technology-challenged because many aren't meteorologists. Nice hair and good smiles seem to be the main criteria for the job, but some talent is necessary. It's not easy to show high pressure patterns by pointing at a blank, blue screen while being guided by quick peeks at off-screen televisions.

If you can simultaneously pat your head and rub your stomach, you could have a future in forecasting - but I don't think pessimists should apply for the job. They're the ones who say the day's going to be partly cloudy, when they could just as correctly say partly sunny.

Forecasters in general spend more time discussing what happened today than predicting what's going to happen tomorrow. Of course, this greatly increases their chances of being right. They also spend considerable time discussing what's going on in other parts of the country; but I enjoy that - especially in the winter.

Winter is what attracts visits from our family and friends - many more than when we lived in New Jersey. Nevertheless, they say they'd miss the seasons if they lived here. Don't they miss the seasons when they winter in Florida?

Because we live by the ocean, they want to know if we worry about tsunamis. No, I worry about the neighbor's hot tub overflowing.

Many of our family and friends live in New England, where they say, "If you don't like the weather, wait a minute". If you don't like the weather in Los Angeles, there's no point waiting for it to change.

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KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com

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