Humor Article | Are You Wearing A Uniform?More Than Articles

Are You Wearing A Uniform?

When I say uniforms, what do you think of - police, soldiers, school children? I wore a uniform in high school and was relieved not to have to compete in fashion, as well as academics. Of course, I claimed dry cleaning made my skirt shorter.

Some say having to dress the same prevents independent growth. Someone worried about growth should get a larger uniform.

Webster's Dictionary defines uniform as the distinctive clothes of a particular group. This uniformly covers a lot more groups.

People in blue jeans and cowboy boots are country western fans, but music lovers in support hose prefer Neil Diamond.

A man wearing a red, white and blue tie, as well as a flag pin, is a politician. A man in a sailboat on Wednesday is a doctor and a man in horizontal stripes is either a prisoner or thin enough to get away with wearing horizontal stripes.

We're not meant to judge books by their covers, but clothes are covers and we judge people by them. A nurse is caring, a fireman is brave and someone in an orange vest standing by a "Men at Work" sign is overpaid.

My husband's uniform is seasonal. As the temperature goes up, so does the length of his pants.

My uniform is black - black tops, black skirts, black slacks, black shoes. Everything goes with everything. However, my skirts don't get shorter from dry cleaning anymore.

Because I hate deciding what to wear every morning, I brought uniformity to my closet. I divided my clothes into categories - casual, dressy casual and dressy.

In the morning I take whatever is in front of the appropriate category and at night I hang it in the back of that category. Whatever I avoid wearing is hung in the thrift store.

Uniforms are used to distinguish staff from customers, but there's nothing distinguished about the bright-striped, cone-shaped hats worn by the female staff at Hot Dog on a Stick.

I've only seen one male working at Hot Dog on a Stick. His hat was decorated with the same garish stripes, but it was a visor. Either the CEO of this hot dog haven is a misogynist or the women hired are Marge Simpson wannabes.

They say women fall for men in uniforms. If we're talking about military uniforms, I think it's the commitment that makes these men attractive. If it were just the uniform, the Maytag repairman wouldn't be so lonely.

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KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com

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