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Can You Compare Apples And Oranges?

An adage is a time-tested truism, but some adages don't ad up anymore. "A penny saved is a penny earned" has deflated in meaning because of inflation.

"Penny-wise and pound foolish" is an English adage. Here it would be more effective as an ad for Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig. Another truism about money is "A fool and his money are soon parted". This one must explain Las Vegas.

Then there's the one about saving for a rainy day. Because I live in Southern California, I wouldn't save much - certainly not as much as people living in Seattle. Actually, it's Prince Charles who should be saving for a reigny day.

Not all adages are about money. "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" applies to politics. It means you won't accomplish anything by taking Milk Bones into the United States Senate.

Pig ears are another dog treat. This makes me think the saying "Deaf as a door nail" should be changed to "Deaf as a pig".

"The grass is always greener in the other fellow's yard" explains the benefit of fertilizer. "Pretty is as pretty does" is something I was told repeatedly about my behavior as I was growing up. Obviously, Paris Hilton wasn't told this. I've never seen it raining cats and dogs and I don't know anyone who has. Maybe Noah did.

In the adage "Youth is wasted on the young", I think the word wasted should be changed to invested. If the investment isn't profitable, don't worry. The young outgrow youth quickly.

I have no idea what is meant by "There's no fool like an old fool". However, I'm at an age where I'm offended by anything that uses the word old.

I don't know what "No good deed goes unpunished" means. I don't think prisons are overflowing with Boy Scouts.

I'm not sure if an apple a day really keeps the doctor away. I know the first apple kept Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden.

"Better than a sharp stick in the eye" is said when something doesn't turn out well. What could be worse than a sharp stick in the eye unless it was a sharp stick in both eyes?

I think the truest truism is what P.T. Barnum said. "A sucker is born every minute". If I'd gone to his circus' sideshow, I would have paid to see the egress.

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KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com

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