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Do You Talk To Talk Radio?

Maybe it's because I grew up in a house full of women, but I'm a talk radio junkie. Music channels don't sooth my savage beast. Music doesn't quiet my thoughts - no matter how loud it is - even teenager loud.

I want a combination of news, weather, interviews and humor. A little bit of sugar helps medicine go down and humor makes it possible to swallow a lot of the news.

I can't sit still long enough to read newspapers. Unfortunately, for the newspaper business I'm not the only one.

I don't watch TV news because it's appointment TV. There's no point TIVO'ing news because it wouldn't be new when I watched it. Yes, talk stations have as many ads as TV stations do; but they're less annoying in a talk format.

Marconi's invention, on the other hand - the one occasionally holding a Walkman - can go with me to the gym. It's with me when I'm showering, cleaning the house and doing errands.

I want to listen to informative discussions between hosts and experts. I also want hosts to spark call-ins from listeners, but to make that spark burn hosts can't suck all the oxygen out of the air time by dominating the conversations. Their job is to inform - not reform. If I wanted to listen to rant, I could put my mother-in-law on speaker phone when she called.

The majority of hosts are conservative, which is fine with me. I like to be challenged. In my twenties I was a left-wing liberal. Now I'm a moderately conservative independent. I still want to save the world - I just want to do it more conservatively.

Like TV, radio programs are rated. Low ratings mean low job security. When a station fires a host, it's like the host is beamed up by Scottie, never to be heard from again. I hate it when that happens. Because I've built a relationship with a host, it's like a funeral without a body. Sometimes, however, through the miracle of modern technology, I discover hosts have been born-again on other stations.

Talk radio is my friend. It's company I don't have to talk to. It's company I can disagree with without offending. It's company I don't have to clean up after. Listening to other peoples' problems puts mine in perspective. For me it's newsworthy to be reminded even presidents and rock stars have mothers-in-law.

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KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com

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