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Ever Envy Rip Van Winkle?

I used to think naps were a luxury - one I could afford, but wouldn't make me fat. Latinos take siestas and Japanese have inemuri; but my Puritan heritage made me feel guilty about napping because I wasn't accomplishing anything.

Well, yes I was. A recent newspaper article reported that naps help fight cardiovascular disease. They allow us to recharge our batteries. When we're stuck in traffic, we put our cars in neutral. In hot weather we make sure there's enough water in the radiator. Unfortunately, we take better care of our cars than we do of our bodies; and our bodies can't be traded in for new models.

When our eyes get heavy or our heads start to nod, we should see this as a red light on our dashboard. Our attention span is running down. If we look back, the solution is obvious. Backwards span spells naps.

Men may admit to closing their eyes occasionally, but they think naps are for sissies. Women, however, see that naps refresh their children. Napping children provide their mothers with a welcome pause; but the pause that refreshes should be a nap - not a Coke.

The Power Nap is for those who complain naps make them groggy. Because a Power Nap is only fifteen to twenty minutes long, you don't get into the slow-wave sleep that causes grogginess.

The Caffeine Nap is for those who complain naps make them both groggy and grumpy. It's a bit tricky because after a cup of coffee you have to get to sleep before the caffeine kicks in. If you do, you get a double boost of energy when you wake up. It's catnip before a catnap.

Our dog catnaps so much that when we're asked if he's a good watch dog, we ask if watching the inside of his eyelids counts. To accommodate him, we've put doggie beds in his three favorite rooms and let our sleeping dog lie.

Why not? Some wide-awake companies provide both time and space for their employees to nap. The loss in work time is more than compensated for by the increase in productivity - although I'm not sure this applies to government workers.

If you still feel guilty about napping, think of daydreams as naps with your eyes open. Now close your eyes. Nap. You've never heard of a daydream being a bad dream. Nightmares don't work the day shift.

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KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com

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