Humor Article | Is It The Holidze Again?More Than Articles

Is It The Holidze Again?

The time from Thanksgiving through New Year's should be called the "holidaze". Invitations to drop by, invitations for cocktails, invitations for dinner - I'm holidazed by it all.

What to wear? Several years ago I decided to simplify my life by wearing black - solids, prints, stripes - basically black. Because of this decision I don't have a holiday sweater. I don't have one piece of red or green clothing. What I have is Johnny Cash'itis; but happily, everything goes with everything - except Christmas.

After what to wear comes the problem of what to bring the host. Egg nog? Poinsettias? Ribbon Candy? I'd love to bring fruit cake because I have several left over from last Christmas. Unfortunately, I don't remember who gave them to me - which could make re-gifting an endangerment to the merriment of the season.

No, I'll give the same gift I gave last year - a card that says I've made a charitable donation on behalf of the party host. It's the perfect host gift for Christmas. One size fits all, no host can have too many and - best of all - it's not fattening.

Then there's the partying itself. Calories shouldn't count during the holidaze. While Santa's busy working with the elves in his workshop, I think Mrs. Santa should create her own elfin magic and make calories disappear.

If I could munch guilt-free on calorie-catastrophic hors d'oeuvres, I wouldn't worry about making conversations with friends of friends - otherwise known as strangers. In response to their inevitable question of "What do you do?" I say, "I'm an in-house manager for a non-profit organization that's very involved with human development". Translated that means I'm a housewife and mother.

To be able to discuss whatever subjects these friends of friends want to discuss, I've created a collection of non-committal comments. "That question is beyond question". "That's a product of being politically correct today". "Indecision can be a wise decision". With these comments I can be part of the conversations without actually saying anything.

Okay, once I'm at a party, I feel less dazed; and yes, I have a good time. Parties are fun times with no dishes to wash or checks to pay. There is, however, a hovering, haunting, holidaze catch. There's an unwritten - but definitely not forgotten - rule about parties. One who goes to parties must give parties - and I'll still have the problem of what to wear.

About the Author

KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com

Author Profile: kphirst

Other Humor Articles