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Is Seeing Believing On TV?

The plasma screen of life is out of focus. My husband and I were late getting to a party. Although the host had given us directions, we got lost. Grab my heart and fall to the floor, John pulled into a gas station and asked for directions.

What is this world coming to when a doctor with nicotine stains on his fingers gives me advice about my health and the psychic my sister hired for her party asked me what I wanted to know? Even when I see it on TV it's hard to believe that politicians swear on a Bible to uphold their office. I've looked closely. It's a Bible - not a joke book.

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. My nephew was buying his first car. Without a question or kicking tires he fell in lust with a red convertible. Peter didn't even lift up the hood to see if the car had an engine. My sister told herself that it was his hard-earned money; so it was his decision - or it would have been if the used car dealer hadn't talked Peter out of the convertible and into a cheaper, sensible hybrid.

Last week I fell in lust with a pair of designer sandals on sale. Unfortunately, they didn't have my size. Usually I'd have tried to squeeze my feet into a half size smaller, but no. I told myself only glass slippers were worth trying to stuff my feet into.

Recently Dr. Phil added color to my TV with a program about committed relationships. One woman had met her soul mate online, but both Dr. Phil and I thought marrying a guy in prison was going too far to guarantee a committed relationship. Maybe it would be better to meet guys in bars - not behind them.

Being the modern couple John and I are, we go to the same hair stylist. Because John looks at me more than I do, I asked him to pick out a different shade of blond for me - one that didn't make me look washed out. I looked in the mirror thirty minutes later and realized the washed out look was natural.

What wasn't natural was the response a statuesque, blond client got when she left the salon and walked past a construction site. I didn't hear one whistle. Was I deaf or was the building located on a blind alley?

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KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com

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