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Shouldn't Meditation Be Spelled MMMMMeditation?

Living in Los Angeles without meditating would be like living in Seattle without drinking coffee - hard to swallow. Today, thankfully, you don't have to have long hair, sandals and a tie-dyed t-shirt. Today the look is Richard Gere without tie-dye. It's not Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie, of course, because blonds have more fun. Because my dictionary defines meditating as "thinking clearly", it's not our local politicians either.

LA has the reputation of being laidback and mellow - but dude, have you seen our freeways! When the traffic is Mercedes-to-BMW, bumper-to-bumper, that's when I need to chill out and keep my cool. But I can't. I'm sitting in an unplanned, urban parking lot watching the little, red arrow on my temperature gauge go up. When I realize I'm going to have to turn off the air conditioner to keep my car from overheating is when I lose my personal cool. That's when I need to escape to another dimension and take the "I" out of my reality.

I need to close my eyes and hum my mantra. A mantra is meant to induce relaxation by being repetitive and personal. Eighty percent of LA has the same mantra - "Make me a star". Mine's different. I've had the same mantra since I got married - "Let's eat out".

For me the problem with meditation isn't having the right mantra or having the necessary motivation. The problem is when I lie down, when I tell myself to close my eyes and relax, to put all worldly thoughts out of my mind, to focus on the blue light I see in my mind's eye. The problem is my mind's eye shuts and I fall asleep.

When I'm successful, however, when I feel surrounded by that blue light, I feel wonderfully refreshed in less than twenty minutes. I feel so refreshed I wonder why I'd ever feel stressed again - but I do. When I'm driving around LA, it's hard to become one with the world if I can't find a parking space so I can become one with the supermarket or the dry cleaners.

When I'm driving around LA, I can't close my eyes and hum my mantra so I practice acupressure. I hold my ring fingers against my thumbs to reduce my stress. I'm sure this would work for other people too. At least it would prevent them from giving other drivers the finger.

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KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com

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