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What Does America Say To You?

The flag, apple pie and baseball - what does America say to you?

To me it also says freedom. It says pioneer spirit. It's our pioneer spirit that inspires us to build bigger and better. Shopping malls, amusement parks and space travel have been new worlds for us to conquer.

We're the ones who put the super in supermarket. We added florists, pharmacies, banks - even Starbucks to supermarkets. In fact, Starbucks may be the reason we added banks.

Supermarket cards and coupons say America. They give us the feeling we're getting something for nothing. Of course, some of us might still pay to see the egress at a circus sideshow.

We invented the cotton gin and the assembly line. We invented the Pet Rock and the Segway. Shouldn't we be able to invent a way to keep our manufacturing in America?

Fast food signs line our highways and cholesterol lines are arteries. Over half our population is overweight; but because we believe in the freedom to eat, we have our stomachs stapled, eat only rice or develop the Cookie Diet. That says America!

Often when Americans travel we expect people in other countries to speak English. As long as we're saying "He goes" instead of "He says" and "O" instead of zero, we're not speaking English. We're speaking American.

At home we complain about the cost of gas, but continue to buy gas-guzzling SUV's. We literally drive up the cost of gas.

We spend more than we earn and save less than any other industrialized country. Maybe Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny stunted our financial growth by giving us things we didn't have to pay for.

And then there's the tooth fairy. She gave us money when we lost a tooth. Now we buy toothpaste to whiten teeth we don't have examined by a dentist.

There's a price to pay for being an American. It's called taxes. Tax laws say bribes, kickbacks and the fair market value of stolen property must be reported.

George Washington couldn't lie about cutting down a cherry tree and our sixteenth president was known as Honest Abe. On the other hand - the one with the history book - Al Capone went to jail because of tax evasion.

No white picket "fence" for Al Capone; and now that we make white picket fences with plastic wood, no white picket fence for Tom Sawyer to paint.

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KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com

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