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Take Time To Listen

Listening is an essential part for effective communication. Without good listening skills, problems will eventually arise. One common problem is when we constantly seek to prove that our way is the best and only way. We are not interested in differing opinions of others, only in defending our own. We are always right, we do everything competently and we never make mistakes. We are also very lonely because being right is more important than developing an open and honest relationship.

If we are always proving that we are right and that our way is the best way, we are not listening. Our ideas and opinions hardly ever change because if the facts dont fit our current beliefs then we just overlook them. If we start listening to others then we might have to admit that we are wrong sometimes. We normally get our way, but in the long run people will avoid and resent us.

The answer to breaking up this pattern is through active listening skills. Listening does not mean sitting still with your mouth shut. It involves our active participation. Listening is a commitment to understanding the thoughts and feelings of others. It is also a compliment because it tells others that they are important to us.

Listening skills can either make or break a relationship. If we are good at it, people will be drawn to us and our level of interaction will deepen. The techniques are easy to use and they will become second nature with practice. So here they are:

1. Maintain good eye contact. This shows them our openness and sincerity.

2. Lean slightly forward. This shows them our interest. It also reminds us to have an outward rather than in inward focus.

3. Ask questions when there is a need to clarify.

4. Move away from distractions.

5. Reinforce the speaker by nodding or by paraphrasing what they said.

6. Make a commitment to understanding what they are saying, even if we are upset or angry.

If we have been locked into the always right pattern for some time, then it will take some time to turn it around. The process may seem slow and frustrating but in the long run it will be worth the effort. We will feel better about ourselves, our relationships, our friends, our children and our job.

That right there is enough reason to start using these skills today. Have a nice day.

About the Author

Mark Webb is the author of How To Be a Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com.

Author Profile: krambbew

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