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New Boyfriend, Same Results?

Ever find yourself stuck with a seemingly never-ending supply of bad boyfriends? Sometimes, it would seem that all your relationships seem to run into the same kinds of problems and ultimately the same kind of bitter breakup, no matter how different your boyfriends seem to be from each other. And it doesn’t even matter much if the new guy is more attractive, more fun, or more engaging than the last – they all seem to start drifting away from you once the relationship settles down.

Is it just you, or are all mean really just jocks who can’t find it in them to commit to one person? Why is it that men always manage to get under your skin, especially after a particularly great stage in your relationship? After all, it’s their fault you can’t help but lash out at them when they don’t get their act straight, right?

Actually, it’s you.

It’s easy to point fingers at the men and give them names like “Mr. Wrong” when a relationship starts to go sour. After all, it’s their job to snatch you away from the clutches of loneliness and ride off with you to happily ever after – or so the fairy tales say. There’s a reason why such ideas are called “fiction.”

You see, in any relationship, it takes two people to make it work. You can’t simply sit and wait for him to turn your relationship into the stuff of legends. Besides, if he realizes he has to do all the work by himself, he really won’t find any reason to stay with you. After all, how would you feel if he expected you to do all the work?

It doesn’t help things that many women think that they really shouldn’t do anything to be loved, either. Such things only happen in fairy tales, and when they do happen in real life, chances are very likely that only one of you is truly happy in your relationship – guess who that’ll be.

Then again, even if you didn’t have such crazy ideas in your head, you might still be sending out bad vibes to your boyfriends without knowing it. You see, we go through our days and nights unconsciously doing things the way we’ve always done. We brush our teeth the way we were taught, we go to work without really thinking about how to get there, and we walk, talk, and act exactly the way we were brought up.

Similarly, there may be some things that happened in the past that affected your way of looking at men and relationships. Your mom and dad may not have had the best relationship in the world. Your dad may not have been the best “man” figure for you, giving you a skewed (or at least incomplete) view of men. It could be many different things, and only you can find out what they are.

If you keep attracting the “wrong” kinds of men, take a little while to look at yourself. The problem may be easier to fix than you think.

About the Author

Aaron Adams specializes in relationship matters for women. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com to find out how to avoid being a fling to a man.

Author Profile: Aaron_Adams

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